New things

Got my hair cut a little, but it's still long.  I'm a little disappointed that I don't have short hair, but I'm not sure how well it would suit me, so I'll keep it long for a while more until I can make up my mind.

Stayed home for the second day in a row due to being sick.  Apparently there's a virus going around that makes the stomach hurt, throat sore, and temperature rise via fever.  Those symptoms I have.  Luckily, I missed out on the characteristic diarrhea and vomiting associated with this virus.  Maybe I'm just super badass.  I haven't decided yet.

That's about it.

Tonight

Or last night.  Whatever.  The point is, I went to a bonfire (more like a grill) at Chad Carr's house.  Now, I was skeptical at first becauses mostly only couples were there, but things started to pick up after a little bit.  Kyle and Jordan and Steve and James came, so Gerald and I weren't the only singles there.  After a little bit, I started being more comfortable, despite the activity being outdoors.

Then I noticed something about myself.  I started acting goofy, you know?  I actively knew I was craving attention, that I wanted to make people laugh and respond to me, so I did things like somersaulting (and later on, taking off my pants while sitting by the fire).  And it worked.  People were laughing, and generally enjoying themselves, as did I as a consequence.

It really made me think about how I've changed, and if it's worth it.  I mean, I get more attention and make friends faster by just being the funny guy, but at what cost?  Am I undermining who I am by being like that, or is it just part of me I never knew existed?  I don't want to compromise my goals by being someone that might not be me.  Also, I didn't really feel any deep connection to the people there.  It was less like "friends" than it was like "people I can make laugh".

I want to be both funny and smart - have my cake and eat it too, to offer a proverb of whose origins and meaning I am unsure.  And I sure as hell want to ensure that I'll be able to be who I envisioned myself as by employing my uniqueness.  Most of all, I don't want to be just a face who makes people laugh.  I'm Ben to me, and some of my closest friends, but what am I to others?  Sociology teaches us that it shouldn't matter, that we shouldn't define ourselves by how we think others see us, but it's inevitable.  Paranoia is the soul of progress.  So I've reached a fork; do I continue to be funny and hope I haven't compromised my integrity, or do I maintain the values that make me who I am: thoughful, philosophical, witty?  I don't want to go through life, always thinking 'is this who I am, or is it my brother/teacher/self-image/means to an end living vicariously through my joking personality?  I know I don't want to live in David's shadow forever... now I wonder if there are other people I'm reflecting in my need for laughs manner.

There's some rub-off affect on people by everyone they meet, whether it be media, mentor, or little pickaxes at the psyche.  Do I risk losing who I am by conforming to that which satisfies my immediate desires?  Just a little thinking aloud.

I never do these, but...

  1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

My great great uncle, and there's no need to shout.
>2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
>
>  I recall getting a little weepy at the end of Philadelphia.  But then again, I might have just been remembering Castaway.
>
>
>3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
>
>  Hey, I can read it.  Take THAT every teacher I've ever had!
>
>
>4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
>
>  I would've spelled it favourite... and really, settle down.
>5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
>
>Sure, I have 8.  Kaleko-vision, Super-nintendo, Nintendo64, Gamecube, Playstation 2, Xbox, Gameboy color, and, um... Eric.  Have I mentioned I'm a neglectful father?  Also, I express favoritism depending on my mood.
>
>
>  6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
>
>  But if I were another person, and I read this question, I would be asked to be friends with myself, but I wouldn't have read this because I'd be someone different, but that would mean this question would never have been read and I would change back to me.  Yeah, I'm not answering this question.  It just screams paradox.

Yeah, we'd masquerade like it wasn't anyone's business.  Also, I'd tap that.
>
>  7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
>
>  Not as much as I use this knife.
>
>  8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS
>
>  I have tonsils?
>
>9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
>
> Has a cat pajamas?
>
>  10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
>
>  Go-lean Crunch.  It helps me not die.
>
>
>  11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
>
>   Not my sneakers.  And if you see them untied, it was my mom.  And if she denies it, a wizard did it.
>
>
>12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
>
>  That's kind of a dick thing to ask.
>
>13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
>
>  I assume you mean favourite.  I dunno, there was this stuff with pop rocks in it once... or maybe the caramel cup craze at golden gurnsey?  How about Mint chocolate chip, just cuz it never lets me down.
>
>  14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
>
>   If I'm actually focusing, hair.  Unless you included women in 'people'.  Then it's breasts.  Hey, I can either be a pig or be honest, right? 
>
>  15. RED OR PINK?
>
>  Is that a question?
>
>
>  16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
>
>  For someone who believes in the necessity of being unique to get anywhere important in life, I'm surprisingly needy for social interaction.  Maybe I need a good neutering.
>
>
>  17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST
>
>  David and Becky, hands down.
>
>
>  18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
>
>  What, and be nosy like you?  I'm nefarious, not cruel.  Oh, and that was a nuklearpower.com quote, for those of you not 'in the know'.
>
>
>  19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
>
>  Nope!
>
>  20.WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
>
>  A rolo from this bag by my computer.  I got them as a bribe from my mom when we went to get my passport picture taken.  I shoulda held out for subway.
>
>
>21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
>
>  Wild Wild West on the TV, and this weird kid who won't shut up who incidentally is quite tied up in the corner.  "Let me go".  Oh, dear, kids say the darndest things!
>
>  22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
>
>  No, I'm not getting trapped by this.  There are literally thousands of colors of crayons in existance.  I wash my hands of you, crayon question.  Next!
>
>  23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
>
>  Girly shampoo, ideally freshly applied to hair.  Yeah, I know it's creepy, but I'm already in the hole, might as well see if I can turn two negatives into a positive by digging to China.  Did that make sense?
>
>
>  24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
>
>  Steve.  Mistake!
>
>
>  25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
>
>
>  As a friend, at least.  Sheesh, nosy!
>
>  26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
>
>  Bzzzt!  Wrong! 
>  But seriously, anything X-treme, just cause it's slightly more interesting than THE SAME FREAKING GAME OVER AND OVER AGAIN
>  27. HAIR COLOR?
>
>  See, this is more like it!  Brown, or something.
>
>
>28. EYE COLOR?
>
>  More of the same.
>
>
>29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
>
>  Heh, a commercial came on about phones.  So when I read contacts, it was like, y'know, yeah.
>
>
>  30. FAVORITE FOOD?
>
>  I'm thinkin' Arby's.  Or maybe Lasagna or Macaroni and Cheese.
>
>
>  31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
>
>  Comedy, and how dare you give me a biconditional query representing only two of many possible outcomes!  Unless you meant which one is better.  Happy endings, and sorry for yelling at you.
>
>
>  32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
>
>  Finding Nemo.  Funny stuff, especially when he got all sad that he thought his son was dead.  Hahaha!  Priceless.
>
>  Yes, that was a joke.
>  33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
>
>  Wrong again!
>
>
>  34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
>
>  I can't say I care for either.  The weather's too extreme, either way.  It could use a little constancy.
>
>
>  35. HUGS OR KISSES?
>
>   Anything available.
>
>
>  36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
>
>   Oreo's, right now.  I think?  Eh.
>
>
>  37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
>
>  Becky, considering Devin (Devan?) sent this to me.
>
>
>  38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND ?
>
>  Koltrax 7, immigrant worker on a planet near Alpha Centuri.  I owe him twenty bucks, so he's not too happy with me as of right now.
>
>
>39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
>
>  I am currently checking my email.
>
>
>  40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
>
>  Air?
>
>
>41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
>
>  Finding Nemo.  We've been through this before.
>
>
>  42. FAVORITE SOUND?
>
>  Ooh!  You know that song, "I'm gonna be" by the Proclaimers?  Better known as the 500 miles song.  Anyway, my favorite sound is that 'Dahduhlatdah' sound that they make in the chorus.
>
>
>  43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
>
>   Rolling stones OVER beatles.
>
>
>  44. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
>
>  *Sigh*  Texas...
>
>  45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
>
>  I can make my fourth toe grip over the top of my third toe without touching it.  Nothing useful though.  Except that I'm a super-smash bros. GOD.
>
>
>  46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
>
>  A planet near Alpha Centuri.  I thought I made that clear.
>
>
>47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
>
>   I do not indulge in false certainty like you do.
>
>
>48. When were you born?
>
>  A long long time ago.  Yes, now it all falls into place...
>
>
>  ?49. Dogs or Cats
>
>   You know, dogs and cats go hand in hand, but only dogs get walked.  What's up with that?  Is a cat incapable of wearing a leash?  Do we need to give it some alone time to talk about its feelings?
>
>Well, in closing, those clothes questions were because I'm wearing a robe.  It's 1:21 in the fucking am, what do you expect?  Nosy people, this survey.  Or whatever.
>
>Peace out girl scouts!

Isn't it funny

Isn't it funny how sometimes we feel we need to say something profound when simple thoughts can provoke the most complex and universal reactions?  I will now write down several concepts which pop into my head.  I do this knowing that everyone who reads this will be able to take something profound from each one.

-Dogs look like they're smiling when they have their mouths open.

-When you go to sleep, you're always sure that tomorrow will come.

-It's more enjoyable to have ten dimes than a dollar.

-Is George Washington one-fifth as important as Abraham Lincoln, or one-hundred times as important?

-Water falls from the sky everyday.

-Somewhere, someone is experiencing a seizure.

-Maybe there's a religion which has all the right answers to the divine questions, and God's divine will is to not tell the public about it.

-Oreos most likely have made more money from the fact that you can split them, then lick the cream from the center than the actual taste of the cookie itself.

-All it takes is the tiniest change in the wind to change the weather.

-Pi, despite having an irrational value, is among the most important numbers in mathematics.

-No one has yet come up with an idea for sandals that have socks sewn into them, so that you can wear sandals and keep your feet warm without looking for two different garments.

-The sound of firing a super-soaker against a wall doesn't sound like you expect it to.

-Metal is cold.

-If masturbation was evil, God wouldn't have given us the tools by which we are allowed to do so.

-Big feet on small people look funny.

-We are able to jump, completely removing ourselves from the ground beneath us, but it never seems all that exciting.

-The at sign just looks like an 'a' in a circle.

-White is considered the standard of good.  Black is considered the standard of evil.

-My toothbrush has gel stuff inside the plastic casing, where I have no chance to enjoy it.

-If you sit in a sofa for long enough, the sofa will eventually break, as will you, but I don't know which will cede to the other first (decomposition, not death).

-Stretching feels good.

-A butt can be erotic.  It can also be the part of the body by which we egest.  Egestion is not erotic.

-                                                               

-I wish I could fly, but I always wonder how fast I'd be able to do so if I were granted such a power.

-Spinning in a circle makes a wooshing sound in your ears if you do it fast enough.

-It makes me happy when I use a preposition in the right context, knowing that it was difficult to do so.

-Capital letters serve no purpose.

-Ice isn't all that easy to make.

-If you open and close your eyes real fast-like and wave your hand in front of your face, it looks like a strobe light is on.

-A guy at the camp I used to go to played "Wonderwall" on his guitar and I thought he invented the song.

-Most liquids are gross.

I hope we've all learned something from this.  It's a nice passtime.  Let your mind roam, say stuff out loud, then figure out if it has meaning.  Just a thought.

It worked!

Good for me!  I had a good day!

On a side note, I have begun to develop muscles on my arms.  Victory!